Our grandpa started running 12 kilometres a day when he was 65 years old.
today he turned 100 years old and we don't know where the mother fucker is!!!
Please let us know if you know his whereabouts.
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.COMEDY DON.
Yesterday I went for an HIV test and when the results were out, I was HIV positive!
My happiness was beyond your imagination!!
Do you know why?
Because now at least the world knows something positive about me!!! celebrate with me.
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. COMEDY DON.
Who remembers Kaka? He's a former Brazilian footballer.
His wife divorced him and when she was asked why she divorced Kaka?
He was too perfect for me, she replied!
What do women need in life?
Reply to me in the comments. Please comment, share this with your friends and groups, click like, and follow Comedy Don, and you won't regret it.
.COMEDY DON.
Marriage is like having a TV set with a satellite.
This means you have many channels to watch but you're only allowed to watch one channel, that's marriage.
Marriage is like having a radio with many radio stations but you can only listen to one.
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.COMEDY DON.
Women say that they only need care, affection, support and honesty from men!
Just put only the first letters together from the above four words,
Care=C, Affection=A , Support=S , Honesty=H
C+A+S+H = CASH, That's what women are looking for from men!!!
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..COMEDY DON.
- As you're dying, a new child is born!
- As you're divorcing, someone is just getting married!
- As you're laughing, some people are crying!
- As some people are enjoying and dying of poverty, someone is spending millions of cash!
- As you're lying in your sickbed, someone is healthy out there!
- As you're being fired from your job, someone has just been hired!
- As you're being released from prison, somebody has just been sentenced to prison!
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.COMEDY DON.
A man was jailed for five years for failure to pay child support.
After serving his sentence through D.N.A. he discovered that he's not the biological father to the child in question!!
And when the jury asked the woman whether she was aware or not?
Aware, replied the woman!!
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.COMEDY DON.
A friend of mine snatched a married woman from her husband and married her.
But today I met him crying and complaining that his close friend had snatched his wife from him!
What you do to others will definitely come back to you.
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.COMEDY DON.
Imagine to print money, you need to spend money!
Is it meaningful or it's a scam?
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.COMEDY DON.
The wife and husband were on a safari or a trip observing wild animals.
Wife: see even a lion is better than you.
Husband: what do you mean?
Wife: since we came here I have noticed the lion having sex several times.
Husband: asked the park ranger, how many times a lion mates in a day? Upto fifty times a day replied the park ranger.
Wife: this lioness is lucky.
Husband: does a lion mate with the same lioness fifty times?
No, with different lionesses, replied the park ranger!!
I left them fighting, Please comment, share this with your friends and groups, click like, and follow Comedy Don, and you won't regret it.
.COMEDY DON..
After too much drinking of alcohol yesterday, I gave my mobile telephone to a woman seated next to me to write and save her number to my phonebook.
So that we can meet next time to form a further relationship.
Instead of the woman saving her number, I next heard a bottle breaking on my head.
Then the following day I discovered that the woman who was seated next to me while drinking yesterday was my wife!!
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.COMEDY DON.
Don't drink and drive, yet bars and restaurants do own parking spaces, car parks or car lots!!
So what are those car spaces for?
Humans are very funny seriously!
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.COMEDY DON.
Why do I think that education is a scam?
Imagine you have some money then you decide to use it to pay for your tuition fees through university or college.
Then, after graduation, you start searching for a job to earn money!!!
This doesn't make sense at all!
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.COMEDY DON.
For example, the iPhone Max Pro 15 is 1200 dollars while the sim card prices range from 7 to 12 dollars for a sim card.
Without a sim card, your iPhone or any mobile telephone is useless.
let at least the prices for sim cards rise to 1000 dollars for a sim card, believe me, people will start thinking before buying expensive phones!!
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.COMEDY DON.
My ex-wife divorced me because I had cheated on her.
Today she's a side chick to a married man with seven children.
This life is not balanced.
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.COMEDY DON.
Imagine humans have not yet developed and fully explored the planet Earth, yet they are exploring and developing other planets.
For example, Elon Musk is planning by 2050 to have the first one million settlers (people) on Mars!
This life is unbalanced.
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.COMEDY DON.
Imagine prisoners are given shelter, food, water, clothing, bed sheets, mattresses, and medical treatment when they get sick.
Some even have television sets in their cells, and they are given time to play their loved games.
While homeless people nothing is given to them, meaning homelessness is more than a crime!
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.COMEDY DON.
The following are the signs of madness:
Dancing without music!
Running when nobody is chasing you!!
Laughing when others are crying!
Borrowing money when you have cash in your bank account!!
Introspective/ talking to yourself!!
Admiring people's wives when you have a wife at home!!
Praying for a long life when you're poor!!
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.COMEDY DON.
In real life, there are four kinds/ types of men, and these are;
- Gift from God.
-Not fish and not meat!
- God, why?
-God forbid!
Please in the comments, ladies tell us where your man falls from the above kinds of men.
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.COMEDY DON.
When I asked God to make my enemies disappear.
That's when my friends started disappearing!
I don't understand. What's happening?
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.COMEDY DON.
These are their meanings;
Engagement Ring- preparing to jump into someone's problems/ pit.
Wedding Ring - Already jumped into someone's problems/ pit.
Suffering - Achievements acquired after fulfilling the above.
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. COMEDY DON.
If you're chatting with two billionaires, you'll be the third one!
If you speak with two wise men, you'll become the third wise man!
If you're conversing with a swarm of fools, you'll soon feel at home!
If you're chatting with two kings, you'll be the third one!
If you're talking to two idiots, you'll likely become the third one!
If you're engaging with two drug addicts, you're likely to be the third one!
If you're communicating with two criminals, you'll soon be the third one!
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. COMEDY DON.
When I keep my money in the bank, it doesn't mean that the bank owns my money!
Keeping my clothes in the suitcase doesn't mean that the suitcase owns my clothes!
When I store my goods in a warehouse or store, the warehouse doesn't own them!
Women stop saying that children are your own because men trusted you with their children in your custody!!
Therefore women or mothers please behave!
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.COMEDY DON.
